The Delicious

More than a year ago I made up this dish for breakfast. We had eggs, we had the makings of lox and bagels, but I kinda wanted both, and I thought, "Hmm, perhaps THIS would be good." I asked Jared, hesitantly, because I thought for sure he'd think it yuck, but he was all for it. And so we made THE DELICIOUS.

It's really pretty simple, and actually, I must be honest, I've since seen a similar thing on a menu. So maybe I didn't make it up entirely but actually pulled the vague memory of this from the dark recesses of my brain.

It goes:

Eggs, scrambled
cream cheese, generous amount
lox, cut into bits

and on the side, a bagel, toasted and buttered.

Other variations include getting triple-onion cream cheese or including shallots or chives seperately. One could also add capers or a dash or red wine vinegar.

This is incredibly easy to make, but it's all about timing:

Just make scrambled eggs, as you normally would, with a healthy dose of salt and pepper.

Then, when the eggs are about 65 to 75 percent cooked, put in about 3 to 4 spoonfuls of creamcheese. Stir, fold, chop, whatever, just combine in whatever way you want to make sure that the cream cheese melts throughout the eggs. Otherwise you'll just end up with kinda melted cream cheese and a few big cream cheese chunks. No good.

Then, at the last minute, when the eggs are entirely cooked and the cream cheese is melted, add the lox and distribute evenly. You don't want to leave them in too long, because they'll cook. (Again, no good.) So, maybe 30 seconds or less should be fine.

Serve on a plate with a side of bagel.


(In planning to write this post I've discovered that it's very difficult to take a good photo of eggs. Use a flash, they come out yellow but washed out. No flash, they come out dark and grey. So, while this may look less than appetizing, I promise, it lives up to its name.)

And now, I'm finally a man

In case you haven't heard, summer is all about grillin'. That's right "grillin' ". No "g" at the end of the word, not if you're a real man at least. And, thanks to Costco's Tuscany outdoor grill, I'm much more of a man than I was a few weeks ago. Thanks to my new purchase, all of my laundry smells like fire and meat, the essence of manhood. If this blog is getting a little too "Home Improvement" for you, I don't care, because it's going to continue like this for a while. That's how we men do it.

Just getting the grill to it's resting place was an endeavor. It required borrowing my roommates pickup truck, going to Costco, and somehow getting a 300 lbs grill up three flights of stairs, to my rooftop patio. It wasn't easy, but then again, greatness never is.

After preliminary experiments with the standard bbq fare, my old buddy Tyler Florence showed me a sweet recipe for a Chicken Kebab salad. This dish isn't really like anything that I've ever made before. It's basically chicken and sausage kababs, that are then put into a big bowl with romaine lettuce and tossed with a ceasar salad dressing. There's two things about this recipe that I like:

The first, is that it's a meaty salad. My dad always makes salads with meat in them. Usually, it's not just chicken. My dad has been known to top his salads with steak, sausage, or pork. It's a good way to stick it to vegetarians by defiling their most precious of food, The Salad.

The second thing I like about this dish is the way that french bread is used on the kebab. You skewer the food on the kebab alternating bread - chicken - bay leaf - sausage - bread etc. I would have thought that the french bread would burn when you put it on the grill, but it soaks up all the juices from the chicken and the sausage while they cook and doesn't get very burned at all.



When I made this dish, it tasted like my dressing had too much garlic. As a result, my breath smelled for two days. If I do it over, I'll make it with less garlic and maybe some more anchovies. Also, Tyler's recipe calls for fresh, not dried, bay leafs. Well, maybe in Tyler Florence's fancy supermarkets they carry fresh bay leaves, but in mine they sure don't. I used dried bay leaves, then squeezed lemon juice over the whole kabab as a replacement.

Without further wait, here is the recipe:

For the kebabs:

8 links sweet Italian pork sausage
1 crusty baguette
2 to 3 medium, boneless, skinless chicken breasts
12 fresh bay leaves
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 lemons
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the salad and dressing:
2 anchovies
2 cloves garlic
1/2 lemon, juiced
2 egg yolks*
1/4 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano, plus shavings for garnish
1 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons water
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 heads romaine lettuce, chopped
Flat-leaf parsley, for garnish
2 lemons, cut into wedges, for garnish

Special equipment: 4 large foot-long skewers, metal or thick bamboo work best, soaked in water for half an hour if using bamboo or wood.

Preheat grill to medium-high heat.

For the kebabs:
Slice chicken thinly, cut the baguette into 1/2-inch rounds, and cut the sausage links up into chunks, alternating cuts at 45 degree angles for nice triangular shapes.

Now prepare the kebabs. Take the skewers 1 at a time and begin threading the components alternately. Start with a piece of bread, then chicken, bay leaf, sausage, and bread; repeat this 3 times to fill the skewers, ending with bread.

Lay the prepared kebabs out on your board and drizzle liberally with extra-virgin olive oil. Squeeze the lemon juice all over and season well with salt and freshly ground black pepper. Place the prepared kebabs onto preheated grill and cook for about 7 to 10 minutes per side, or until cooked through.

While kebabs are roasting you can prepare the salad. In a blender combine the anchovies, garlic, lemon juice, egg yolks and grated Parmesan. Pulse a couple of times to combine, then add the water and blend again. With the motor running, gradually pour the oil through the feed tube and continue to blend until emulsified. Season, to taste, with salt and some freshly ground black pepper.

In a large mixing bowl add the chopped romaine. When the kebabs are done, remove from the oven and slide the kebab components off the skewers directly into the bowl. Add some dressing and gently toss to combine.

To plate, garnish with parsley leaves, shaved Parmesan and fresh lemon wedges.

Pasta Mia

Pasta Mia is one of those restaurants that has rules, probably set in place by Mama Mia (you'll know who she is if you go). You must obey the rules in order to eat at Pasta Mia without a) being embarrassed or b) starving to death while you wait. And wait. And wait some more for your dinner.

The rules are:
1. ONLY COMPLETE PARTIES WILL BE SEATED. This means you better coordinate well if you're supposed to meet someone there. If I were meeting someone and it was my turn to be seated and they hadn't shown up yet, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to dine alone. When it comes to Pasta Mia, it's every woman for herself.

2. NO SUBSTITUTIONS WILL BE MADE. Don't even think about ordering the Linguine with Clams with a butter/garlic sauce instead of a red sauce. They've perfected their dishes, thank you very much, and they don't appreciate your tampering.

3. CASH ONLY!!! NO CHECKS OR CREDIT CARDS. Luckily there is an ATM right around the corner.

And then there are other rules, which aren't written but ARE absolute.

4. GET THERE EARLY. VERY early. Pasta Mia opens at 6:30 p.m. (closed Sunday and Monday). By 6:00, there is a line outside. You're pushing your luck if you get there later than 6:15, and trust me when I say that if you do not get seated in the first wave of people, you should just go next door to the Mexican restaurant or something. You will be waiting for AT LEAST one hour.

5. THE SERVICE IS SLOW. DEAL WITH IT. Don't complain or you'll get the Mama Mia smack down! I do suggest, if you're feeling antsy, to avoid Pasta Mia on Friday and Saturday and shoot for a Tuesday through Thursday visit. They are (sometimes) less swamped on the weekdays so are a little more attentive.

Jared, Lo, and myself went to Pasta Mia on Friday, followed all the rules, and had an excellent dining experience.

My dish: Fusilli with eggplant. Delicious with red sauce and large pieces of mozzarella cheese melted throughout. I get this every time now.


Lauren's dish: Fusilli with Sausage. VERY SPICY. They went a little nuts on the red pepper flakes with this one. Still, very good, if you like a kick.


Jared's dish: Tortellini al Ragu. The tortellini is filled with cheese, and the meat sauce is delicious, with a really interesting flavor that makes me think they use quite a bit of wine. I think this is the best dish (that I've had) on the menu. I myself don't order it because it consumes my faux-vegetarian's soul with guilt. But you can bet I sneak a few bites from Jared.


And, to top it off, delicious espressos, cappuccinos, and this:


Tiramisu. So good, it rivals Biramisu.

Not only that, but the prices are reasonable (generally $12 a dish) and the three of us had two snacks and an entire meal with the leftovers. That is not an exaggeration. The portions are huge.

Anyway, go to Pasta Mia, but be prepared!

Billy Hot Chocolate...Cake

This is my friend Billy Hot Chocolate:


He does a radio show from his house in Riverdale. He also does wrestling at the UCB Theater. His wrestling show was recently reviewed on Gothamist, where the reviewer said about the show, "W.T.F." Billy was psyched about that.

He came to visit last weekend and we went for a walk in my neighborhood. At my favorite coffee place, Java House, they sell slices of this enormous chocolate cake, like Bruce Bogtrotter size. Everytime someone orders a piece, everyone looks at them with a mixture of envy and disgust. I had a really great idea to order a slice of this cake, plus an espresso milkshake. So gluttonous, so decadent...this prospect excited me much more than it probably should have. In my head it became this return to childhood, where all you want to do is eat an entire cake and you've never heard of calories or sugar or fat or being responsible. So really, it wasn't ONLY wanting to eat a big fucking slice of cake. It was more than that.


I thought Billy would be a good person to share the cake with:


(You can also see a tiny sliver of the espresso milkshake on the left hand side there. Honestly, if cake isn't your thing, go for the espresso shake at Java House. It's awesome.)

And he was, and it was super fun and yummy. Fin.